I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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