awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
