Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
