hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
this boner is exhausting
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
