I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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