It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
