it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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