the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
