I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
