Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You took a bar mat shot.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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