I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
