Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
