Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
