You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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