ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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