What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
