is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
