are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize