I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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