No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We're too hungover to prance.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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