Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
