dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
