in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My bed smells like the plague
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
