I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
