Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
