What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
