OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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