isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
