Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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