pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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