I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
