found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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