Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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