Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
