hotel room ftw
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
