The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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