plz talk dirty to me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
