You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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