it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
