Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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