Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Barsexuality is the new black.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize