Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
