So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
