He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
