I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
