Life is so much better after having sex.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
