Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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