You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
