I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
