I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just pee around me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
