Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
