I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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