Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
