my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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