You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
