I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize