After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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