Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
