Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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